How to Mom Like a Boss and Teach Kids Shit Happens
The gusting winds and springtime snow kept us inside today. The laundry is piling up. Everyone was hungry and bored all day. Fun, happy, whimsical day at home with the children? Not happening.
After the fourth poop I needed to wipe, one of which was diaperless (Seriously. It was the very first time I thought I'd let him go diaperless!) the mess took over the house even after tidying the floor approximately 573 times. I found a can of tomato sauce from the pantry shacking up with a lone sock behind the couch cushion.
The 4-year-old expresses his growing pains in every possible way every time he goes through a spurt. There are gigantic highs, an energy that can’t be contained, and tumultuous lows. The entire day was a reflection of his unpredictable emotions.
I want you to play with me.
No not like that!
I was bellowing about I don’t even remember now.
Then we did 20 minutes of yoga.
He hit me in the face.
Then he got me an ice pack.
To round out a day that couldn’t have been more paradoxical, shortly after I wrangled them in from "singing" at a volume that was breaking my ear drums, the two brothers sat together quietly on the couch looking at books when their daddy got home from work.
As my husband walked in, there was no ignoring the irony of how simple and enjoyable the stay at home mom life appeared to the one walking through the door. The resentment that I knew how completely opposite the truth of that day was simmered in my gut.
But, here is where I have a choice. I can fester in the resentment. Or I can inhale, exhale, and move on.
I chose the latter and the entire family will be better for it.
That's the strength of motherhood. It's making a conscious choice to be the mountain in the storms of unpredictability.
Every ounce of me wanted to throw myself on the floor in a heap of complaints then hide in my room for the rest of the afternoon. Instead I recounted the day's positive events. I stated that we'd had trouble staying calm and kind today but that I know that happens to everyone sometimes. And we're glad we get to try again tomorrow. We left it at that.
There were a million things I would rather have been doing than spending the day cleaning up poop. But when I birthed these children I birthed a new version of myself that was able to avoid a tantrum about how disgusting life can be.
I am not, and will not, be the housewife with squeaky clean children and fresh lipstick when her husband walks through the door. I will not plaster a fake smile on my face and pretend the day was grand.
What I will do is show my boys that when shit does happen this is how you handle it. Then you wash your hands and move forward.